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Self-portrait
(April 26th, 2020)
Canyon, TX, U.S.A.

In April, I went hiking for a few days in Palo Duro Canyon State Park in Texas, the second largest canyon in North America. Reconnecting with Nature was for me a little escape from a heavily 'infected' big city of Dallas, TX where I live during the coronavirus pandemic. It cleared my mind, and made me feel good.

I stayed in Canyon, TX, in an equine facility called Rider's Roost. My host, Andrea was a volunteer saving horses from slautherhouses. This is how I met three most wonderful horses in the world: Rosie, Gus and Sassy, that made my days even more special. Being close to them felt like an equine-assisted theraphy. There was also Chief, a cuddly barn cat that assisted me almost at every single photo I was taking, thus he can appear partially or fully in the self-portraits I took there.

The state parks in Texas reopened on Monday, April 20th as a part of the first phase of reopening the economy with online purchase of limited number of passes for day-use only. I was lucky to get three passes for Thursday, Friday and Sunday in Palo Duro Canyon.

The first day was a long 4-hour hike. We chose The Litghhouse Trail leading to the icon Lighthouse, the most famous rock formation created by erosion in Palo Duro Canyon.

The second day hike, Juniper Riverside Trail, was much shorter and easier. It was so nice to see the river as we looked down. From the very begining, I felt that the air and the soil felt very dry in the canyon even though it was just early spring, but the flowing water allowed more water-loving plants growing there like cottonwood trees and maple leaf grapevines.

That afternoon I had little more time to spend with animals at the barn. I took a lot of photos of them as I love horses to death, and a few of me outdoors as well. The wind was quite strong that day though, so my work in self-portraiture was harder than usual, not to mention Chief, who was rubbing himself around the tripod helping the wind to make it eventually fall.

The third day, on Saturday, the passes were sold out for Palo Duro Canyon, so we decided to venture little bit in the area where we stayed. This is how we discovered Buffalo Lake National Wildlife Refuge that had trails open to the public. Its uniqueness consists of the largest remaining short grass prairie ecosystems in the United States. This area is well known for its wide diversity of annual migrating bird species and year round resident wildlife.

The day wasn't windy at all, and the temperature was pleasant. The 1-mile Cottonwood Canyon Birding Trail following within the steep canyon walls through a river habitat of tall trees seemed a perfect choice for a tranquil observation of Nature. I especially was overwhelmed by seeing a lot of dead trees just near the green ones. The sky appeared dramatic at times, and when I was looking at it through dead branches of trees, it made me sad, very sad. It felt as if I was looking at celestial beauty through the prism of death. All kind of thoughts suddenly invided my head. Even the crown that I made out of daisies seemed like a trophy of dead animal that hunters often attach to their backpacks. I regretted I'd collected them. I also regretted I hadn't think of a photoshoot there. There was something very specific about this place that I craved for capturing in my self-portraits. I told to myself that I would return on Monday, the day of the departure, very early in the morning even if just for an hour.

On Sunday, unexpectedly, I woke up very early. That day we decided to hike the Rock Garden trail, Palo Duro's most challenging, and most scenic one. It is a five-mile round-trip hike with a vigurous incline that keeps the trail sparsely populated, perfect feature during the pandemic. Georgia O'Keeffe who made her home in the Texas Panhndle, and hiked through and painted Palo Duro frequently, described it as "burning, seething cauldron, filled with dramatic light and color." And indeed, this is how the Rock Garden trail made me feel.

I took this picture before leaving for a photoshoot in Palo Duro that I planned for Sunday at the trailhead of the Rock Garden.

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About the project:

I wish to look at myself in all reflected streets and places I will be passing by. These self-portraits are inspired by Vivian Maier's self-portraiture: www.vivianmaier.com

Taken on: June 18, 2020

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