It's just an illusion. - a photo on Flickriver

            Although with each passing year I feel more at ease with my liking to take on the appearance of a woman it still causes me some doubts about my motivations. I seem to straddle a gamut of desires and delusions with my my male to female cross-dressing. Ultimately I am a man. My life is as a man, I see my future continuing as a man yet I really have this liking for dressing as a woman.

What I am certain of is I do absolutely love the thrill and excitement of the dressing up. I love all the effort that goes into what is a form of female impersonation. By that I mean I am doing my best to look convincingly female and I want to try and make my female alter-ego seem real by my appearance and behaviour and responses and reactions be those of a woman. I see it as a form of performance which I greatly enjoy.

Along with my liking for the indulging myself in female illusion I also have desires to actually be a woman. When I was younger I was keen to be a girl yet I also wanted to remain a boy, a real paradox! This scenario has remained with me as I’ve grown older. I feel I am definitely a transvestite, as I genuinely love the whole being a man taking on a female appearance and wearing female clothing, make-up and wigs.Yet my transvestism has a the transsexual element embedded within it.

 I think my angst has manifested itself over the years due to the lack of acceptance for grey areas with transvestism and transsexualism. There is definitely an attitude within the trans community you are one or the other. If you are transsexual the thinking is you must transition and become full time. I totally disagree with all of that. I am more certain wit each tear many of us are in-between being cross-dressers and transsexuals. Like most things nothing is purely one or the other.

 One thing I’ve noticed is I can experience intense emotional feelings that I want be a woman forever and cease being a man. His is always, absolutely always a short term experience. It can sustain its intensity for many hours but inevitably it fades. I’ve now fully accepted this is how it is for me personally. I have learned to go with it and enjoy the power of the moment when it comes upon me.

I can also freely admit the idea of dressing up and passing myself off as a woman is also something I love doing. I get a buzz out of knowing I’m a man and I’ve taken o a female appebence. I actually enjoy all the effort required to try and look female. I also enjoy acting the part of a female. I get a thrill out of the whole dressing up experience and enjoy the make-up, dresses and wigs.

When I dress as a woman I feel good, I feel more confident, my emotions feel free and I love it! I like appearing a a woman,  really, really like it. Yet, I’m happy to return to being a man. I enjoy the memories of having ceros-dressed and I like the anticipation of the next time I an do it once again. At the same time I can have times I wish I had my own breasts, I dream of being female, I wish my male genitals were gone, I just dream of being a woman forever.

So, my self acceptance is I am part transsexual and part transvestite. I like my male life but I like to become a woman now and again. I also enjoy the performance aspects of being my female alter-ego and on an emotional level it fulfils my transsexual side. I believe it is my transsexual element that is the driver for my transvestism. I just on’t feel I want to give up my male life though. I like the way the cross-dressing is working for me.

 It has taken me decades to feel okay about this but I rather like the wait is and I become more comfortable with it as time goes on. I still have lingering doubts, I thin mainly due to my upbringing in that men should be men and dressing up as a woman was seen as perversion. I now see it as fully expressing my entire persona. I may be a man but I’m also a woman so every now and again I unlock myself and set free my female side.

Taken on: March 14, 2020

Tags:

transvestite

transgender

transsexual

transsexualism

crossdress

crossdressing

crossdresser

t-girl

t-gurl

girl

tranny

trainee

female illusion

gender illusion

swap gender

gender swap

male to female

drag

queen

drag queen

female impersonation

female impersonator

men who dress as women

man in dress

dressing up as a woman « less

Sets appears in: • Cross-dressing 2020

Groups appears in: • Transgender • Transvestite more » • Transgender Community Image • UKCD's • UK CROSSDRESSERS / TRANNIES & ADMIRERS • TOP Tgirl Beauties • effeminate • Transgender Cafe • FEMININE BY CHOICE NOT BIRTH • Transvestites/Transvestiitit • scottish tgirls • Crossdressing Fun • Crossdresser/ Transfem girls • Pretty TV and TS face close up • very classy cds • T Girls Club • Straight Crossdressers • Art of Feminization • Mature Transvestites • Suzanne's Crossdresser Network • Cute Tgirls • Over 40's CD's And Transgendered. • cross dressers in uk • Elegant Mature T-Girls 55 or older • Everyday Gurls • Lipstick Crossdressing • Transgender Self-Portraits • Breasts are Beautiful - Transgender only • The Most Passible CD Pictures • A+ TG Image • European crossdressers - travesti • The Society To Abolish Headless Transvestism • CROSSDRESSERS and UNITY • Intersex • TGirl Femininity • Sitting Pretty • (New) Only Tgurls here • I Wish that I was Born Female • Like my eyes, or...? • MASTER NEO Presents: Gurls sitting real pretty! • Wonderful TG • Art of crossdressing OPTED OUT 30/60 • Passable Girl • T-girls Cd tranny of the World • Büroarbeiten • Transgender Styling • 2021/2022/2023 T-Girls of the YEAR • Ladies career and business Fashions • *Man I Feel Like A WOMAN* • Beautiful Girls and Crossdressers • The Joy of Being a Woman • Best T-Girls on the Internet opt out 30 60 • Not The Man I Used To Be • A T-GIRL GROUP--!!!OPTED OUT 30/60 • *** Men At Their Best.... A Woman*** • ** The Art of Womanhood ~ By Men ** • Beautiful Trans • Cute Dresses Opt Out 30 60 • T-girl 10---!!! OPTED OUT 30/60 • I can't believe she's not female • THE JOY OF BEING BLONDE---!!! OPTED OUT 30/60 • beautiful crossdressers , t-girls on flickr • Tasteful Dresses TG/CD • T-Girl Model - OPTED OUT 30/60 • gonnecortissime • Minigonne delle donne • En Femme : Dressing as a woman! • Belle in minigonna • SOPHIE-MARIE'S CLASSY ELEGANT LADIES AND I MEAN ALL LADIES <3 XX • Amber's Beautiful Crossdressers and Trans women of Flickr « less

Stats: 142,696 views / 30 comments

Link to this photo view:
Link to this photo large view: