"PLASTIC SURGERY" "GRANDMA STONEBRIDGE" "EARL R. STONEBRIDGE"

            GRANDMOTHER STONEBRIDGE WAS NOT PLEASED WITH THE HALOWEEN MASK SHE PURCHASED AT A WELL-KNOWN DISCOUNT STORE. ONCE HALOWEEN WAS OVER, MRS STONEBRIDGE COMPLAINED SHE COULD NOT REMOVE THE MASK. "I called their district manager and he asked me if I had read the directions that came with the kit. No, I hadn't. "Mrs Stonebridge says she has never been able to read Mandarin and hopes that the elastic band will simply snap and free her up for her next public appearance at the Torch and Bottle Supper Club, an old and established club on the North side where she has been singing for the past thirty-five years. "I feel somewhat depressed and despondent over this. It's not like I am going to a masquerade party as a phantom or something, really. I am having a hard time getting the supermarket to cash my check because they say they are uncertain of my identity. I know one thing for sure, the next time I buy a mask, imported or domestic, I will read the warranty and make sure it meets my satisfaction." Asked if she was angry, she stated she was angered, humiliated,depressed and despondent. "I'm getting freaked out wearing this thing," she concluded. "And don't ask me about that song about grandmothers getting run over by reindeers either," she said. "I feel spooky enough already."
   

Taken on: December 5, 2007

Tags:

HUFFSTUTTER

NEW

SEE IT FIRST

HURRY

FACES

SPACES

BOTOX

elastic

discount

False Faces

Trick or Treat

costumes

masquerade

masks

masques

identity

marketing

imports

imported

warranties

satisfaction

singers

torch singer

torch singers

entertainers

phantoms

freaked out

clinical advice

humiliated

humiliation

angered

angry

upset

despondent

depressed

grandmother

grandmothers

issues

halloween

spooky

reindeer

Santa's reindeer

hit and run

accident

Christmas

songs

holiday comedy

fiction

Earl R. Stonebridge

satire

humor

PLASTIC SURGERY

BOTOX TUNNEL

BOXTOPS AND BARF BAGS

BARF BAGS « less

Groups appears in: • Depression and BiPolar • The Snapshot more » • PECULIAR FACES • googly eye'd • faces of people • Somewhat Strange... « less

Camera: Canon PowerShot S5 IS, f/3.5, 1/100 sec, 21.9mm, ISO 800 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Canon PowerShot S5 IS
Aperture:	f/3.5
Exposure Time:	0.01 sec (1/100)
Focal Length:	21.9mm
ISO:	800
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Mode:	Auto
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Auto
Color Space:	sRGB
Show full info

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