Half a Person? - a photo on Flickriver

Half a Person?

(DECEMBER 2nd NOTE: I'm bringing this photo from May back up in time today and adding to new groups. I was going to upload something new, since it's been a few days -- but I was all caught up in today's NY State Senate decision on gay marriage. Unfortunately the marriage bill was shot down...yet another blow for LGBT equality. I'm heartbroken, and don't really feel in the mood for uploading now -- I really don't know how many more of these disappointments I can take. Still...I'm not giving up. Equality for ALL is around the corner...but for now, this is how I feel...)

From May 16, 2009:

Tonight I'm going to my first gay wedding. I'm very excited about it, mainly because the two guys getting married are really special people and they deserve each other.

But of course, it's in New York -- so it's not a "real" wedding...

...not a "real" marriage.

I have never been interested in getting married myself. Didn't see the point of it. Not because I'm gay, but because most of the marriages that I saw weren't particularly happy ones. My own parents stayed married for quite some time for convenience, even though there was no love between them for as long as I can remember. Most of my friends had parents who were married but had bitter divorces. My sister ended up getting married to what seemed like a great guy, only to discover a completely different person once they were married, and got a quick divorce soon after. I had nothing against marriage, I was just scared of it. It seemed like whenever a couple got married, that's when unhappiness settled in. And I didn't want unhappiness in any of my relationships.

After I met Sion, and our relationship blossomed, it became clear to me that he hadn't thought about marriage much either, but was seriously considering it a possibility. He didn't see it as something to be scared of, but rather a strong commitment between two people, and the ultimate romantic gesture. At the same time, I was beginning to see marriages that DID work, and ones that COULD last. My fears of marriage definitely softened a bit, but...I still didn't know it if was ultimately "necessary."

And then Proposition 8 passed in California this last November, eliminating same-sex couple's right to marry, and something snapped inside of me. Suddenly getting married took on a whole new meaning for me, and I realized just how important it actually is. Right now there's a battle waging in America over it. We've seen a handful of States make some progress lately, but it's still too little -- and we have such a loooong way to go. Especially for a case like Sion and I.

Sion is not yet a full citizen, and when his multi-year visa is up we will have to decide whether to fight for him to stay a few more years in the States, or move elsewhere. It's not easy because becoming a U.S. citizen is a long, complicated and difficult process. Unless, of course, you're heterosexual. Straight couples, where one is of a different nationality, can simply get married -- and that person can get a work permit in 90 days, and a green card a year later. These couples can do this even if there is no love between them, simply for the immigration status.

Not so for same-sex couples -- no matter how much love and dedication they have for each other. Doesn't quite seem fair, does it? Even with more and more States finally allowing gay marriage, and even if New York is one of those next States to allow such common sense -- it won't matter, legally, for Sion and I. Citizenship is a Federal issue, and we would need the entire country accepting gay marriage first. But just how long will it take to get to that point? The frustrating thing is knowing that it probably will...some day. The question is when? While Obama is still in office? Or several years after? Or when we're old and gray?

The laws basically say my love for Sion is less than that of any straight couple. Britney Spears can be married for 55 hours, but I can't be married at all.

Something's not right there.

I DO want to marry Sion, and we will be married some day (probably in Spain first -- where it IS now legal). But I also want it to matter. I don't want some "other" term to define our love, with less benefits. I don't want to be considered half a person anymore because of my sexuality.

I want to be equal.

Taken with a Panasonic DMC-FS5
At home
Listen to "Half a Person" by The Smiths.

Please check out my joint Flickr account that I have with Sion Fullana.
And be sure to follow me on Twitter

Taken on: May 14, 2009

Tags:

self

portrait

me me me

Half a Person?

gay marriage

half a face

beard

gay male

it's all about love

queer

NYC

New York City

equal rights now

I want to marry Sion Fullana

Sets appears in: • Non-Explored Faves • About Me! more » • 1000+ views • 50+ Favorites • Panasonic DMC-FS5 « less

Groups appears in: • Emotions • square (don't post the not square photo) more » • Portraiture Photography (of real people) • Autoportrait • Portrait (real persons only) • squareFormat • Identity & Self Portraits • All People • Picturing the MALE • I am... • FLICKRGAYS • Portrait of Your Soul • This is me... • Creative self-portraits. • A Man's World • Self Portraits • FlickrToday (only 1 pic per day) • Self-Portraits! • ME ME ME • Interesting Portraits ☺ [people] • My Self Portrait • SELF-PORTRAIT • Portraits That Tell a Story (READ RULES BEFORE POSTING!) • Flickr Men • Gay Male Portraits (from the waist up) • The Portrait Group • Artistic Self-Portraits • A MILLION FLICKS • reflections of life • *Karma* • Self Taught Photographers - LOOK AT DISCUSSIONS FIRST! • Gay Male Photographers • queer photographers • [ s e l f - p o r t r a i t s ] • PORTRAITS - A Gallery for your Best Portraiture • Beard, Goatee & Stubble appreciation group • ORIGINAL IMAGES *comment 1 per post • Me, Myself&I • Very cool portraits • Self Expression (Moody Self-Portraits) • Equal Rights • PERSONAL BEST - Preserving Meaningful Moments • 500x500 • ·SELFPORTRAIT AS ART , NOT A MATTER OF EGO Autorretrato y Arte • You Are Art - SELF PORTRAITS • EN PRIMER PLANO • Self portrait. • Gay Rights Are Civil Rights • FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME • Show us your best • New York City People • I, Me, Mine - Pictures of you • restless souls - firework minds • The empire of the soul « less

Camera: Panasonic DMC-FS5, f/3.3, 1/4 sec, 5.2mm, ISO 400 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Panasonic DMC-FS5
Aperture:	f/3.3
Exposure Time:	0.25 sec (1/4)
Focal Length:	5.2mm
ISO:	400
Exposure Bias:	+0.66 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Program:	Program AE
Exposure Mode:	Auto
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Auto
Color Space:	Uncalibrated
Software:	Adobe Photoshop CS Macintosh
Show full info

Stats: 9,178 views / 65 comments

Link to this photo view:
Link to this photo large view: