Learn to love yourself - a photo on Flickriver

              Hey howdy hey folks, and welcome to Flickr Friday's installment of Project 116.3 [take two].  I don't do self photos, unless I'm force to and I wanna take me outta my comfort zone to celebrate the advancements I've made to better myself.

  I need to come clear about why I pick up fell steam into photography and then do nothing.  Part indeed is because of inspiration, and even another part can be called "being burned out"; but a bigger and more controlling portion is my doctor diagnosed me with Severe Depression Disorder.  The thought of see a psychologist even being diagnosed seemed taboo for me and for the better part of one and a half to two years has been coming to the realization, accepting, and adjusting to the medication I'm now on.  During this, and since 2010 I've gained weight going from 180lbs to 270lbs.  During this quarantine I've made a stand to not let distracting people from my past that I've had no recent interaction with plague my thoughts and derail me from achieving my goals.  I've told myself that this year starts a new trend of maturing financially and a watershed moment of accepting my past and more headstrong and boldly into the future.

  It started with shooting more and getting back in the saddle of the Project 116.3, also I brought a crap ton of film and told myself that this needs to be burned through by the end of the year, or else sell my film gear and go all-in digital (to downsize from business to hobbyist photographer).  Then I moved to my weight, which put me and my family on the track to weight loss and healthy eating together by means of Weight Watchers.  Lastly my dental problem.  I had to, under financial duress, make some real life decisions which cost me teeth.  I always had the fear of being toothless like my father by sixty, but I found a way to get teeth back in my skull through being a dental student's patient....

  Well... many months later I go in October to have the last pair of implants inserted, I've lost twenty-four pounds and shrinking, I'm able to look at myself in the mirror and proudly confirm my worth, and most importantly... I took a photo of myself (even though I have the quarantine buzzcut special).  Life is short, too short.  I can't and won't let my past and failures dictate my future anymore.  I take control this year and ...learn to love myself.

Taken on: August 7, 2020

Tags:

depression

success

EOS 5D

5D mk II

EF 24-105mm f/4 USM L

self portrait

Weight Watchers

Past

Present

Future

selfie

Project 116*3

[take two]

care

portrait

Bendersama

Bendersama Photography « less

Sets appears in: • Project 116*3 • [camera] Canon EOS 5D mark II more » • [lens] Canon EF 24-105mm f/4 IS USM L • Portraiture « less

Groups appears in: • canon photography • Canon EOS 5D Series more » • Canon EF 24-105mm f/4L IS USM • Canon EF 24-105mm f/4 L IS USM « less

Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark II, f/4.5, 1/50 sec, 58mm, ISO 800 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Canon EOS 5D Mark II
Lens:	EF24-105mm f/4L IS USM
Aperture:	f/4.5
Exposure Time:	0.02 sec (1/50)
Focal Length:	58mm
ISO:	800
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Program:	Manual
Exposure Mode:	Manual
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Auto
Color Space:	sRGB
Software:	Adobe Photoshop Lightroom Classic 9.3 (Macintosh)
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