A Younger Helene! - a photo on Flickriver

A Younger Helene!

            One thing that came out of the Covid pandemic for me, was having no opportunity to express myself through my enjoyment of cross-dressing I have looked deeper into my picture archives. It’s been an intriguing experience. While I did have a few fleeting cross-dressing moments in my teens and early twenties I then suppressed it completely until I as 41 years of age.

I will admit I truly regret giving in to my fears of my desire to cross-dress as a woman and know I lost two decades of expressing a part of me that I like to set free. In November 2000, I finally started to dress as a woman though I had no experience in how to cross-dress. My enthusiasm and inner desire though were enough to  push me into finally shaving my legs chest and arms and starting to shape my bushy male eyebrows. If I’m honest, I thin the feeling I had was more desperate to actual go through with it!

I wanted more than to jus ear make-up and women’s clothes, this is what had me shaving off my body hair and trying to look feminine. I was driven, not just keen but something was driving from a deeper emotion. When. Was in my teens I was eaten up with the desire to dress up asa girl, I was disappointed I could not do it. I had a lot of fear about this desire too.  I grew up in an industrial area where any kind of desire such as I had, to dress and act female, would have brought about physical violence upon me and caused issues in my family. It was a low income working class upbringing. I would dream most nights of being feminine, wearing make-up and wearing girls clothing. I was very envious of girls of my age developing into women. I wanted to be with them. Strangely, I felt I was attracted more to the look and behaviour of girls rather than an overwhelming urge to be an actual girl. I loved the idea of being boy that everyone thought was a girl. That illusion appealed to me!

By the time I was 18 a few female friends had started to do a bit of modelling. I went with them a few times and my desire just grew stronger. As I watched them getting their makeup done and a rack full of dresses, and to my surprise a lot of wigs, I was almost feinting with the yearning tone doing the same. The times definitely instilled a promise to myself that one day I would model as a woman. It was a long way from the industrial reality of where I was growing up!

I discovered during my look back through my archives a set of pictures from a photoshoot I did in 2002. I had decided o live out my teenage dream of modelling. I am a great believer now, an attitude that formed in my late thirties, that I should start doing the things I had dreamed of. It didn’t matter how delusional they may be I just wanted to actually live the dream I had harboured.

 So one cold February morning I showered early, shaved off all my body hair, liberally applied moisturiser to my now smooth body and dressed inemple lingerie, added breast forms, painted my nails then sat at a dressing table looking at the man reflected and started to apply full face make-up. I put on a dress, put on a wig, brushed my long hair and slipped into my high heels. I was ready! 

This picture is one from the photoshoot. What I was doing, posing as a woman and believing I was one was so far removed from my usual male life that I still marvel  actually did it! I did have a rather fab time and loved bing referred to as she and treated as if I was actually a female. It was exciting and incredibly thrilling ad I adored the whole experience. 

 Seeing myself in this picture I am ver aware of I am getting older and I don’t have the looks or skin I had twenty years ago when this picture was taken. What I do have and was rekindled after discovering the photo is the delighting shaving lived one of my dreams, I actually went through with it and the picture is my memory and my proof.

I knew I was a transvestite by the time of the photoshoot and  was truly thrilled I was one, it is one of Thebes things I have in my life. I knew the inner desire to dress and act female is something I need to embrace not suppress, I love being a woman!

Taken on: February 13, 2002

Tags:

atransvestite

transgender

transsexual

transsexualism

crossdress

crossdressing

crossdresser

t-girl

t-gurl

girl

tranny

trainee

female illusion

gender illusion

swap gender

gender swap

male to female

drag

queen

drag queen

female impersonation

female impersonator

men who dress as women

man in dress

dressing up as a woman « less

Sets appears in: • Cross-dressing 2002

Groups appears in: • Transgender • Transvestite more » • t-girls from around the world • Transgender Community Image • UKCD's • TOP Tgirl Beauties • effeminate • Transgender Cafe • FEMININE BY CHOICE NOT BIRTH • Transvestites/Transvestiitit • scottish tgirls • Crossdressing Fun • Crossdresser/ Transfem girls • Pretty TV and TS face close up • very classy cds • T Girls Club • Straight Crossdressers • Art of Feminization • Suzanne's Crossdresser Network • Cute Tgirls • Over 40's CD's And Transgendered. • cross dressers in uk • Everyday Gurls • Lipstick Crossdressing • The Most Passible CD Pictures • A+ TG Image • European crossdressers - travesti • The Society To Abolish Headless Transvestism • CROSSDRESSERS and UNITY • Intersex • TGirl Femininity • T-girl Makeup • Sitting Pretty • (New) Only Tgurls here • I Wish that I was Born Female • Like my eyes, or...? • MASTER NEO Presents: Gurls sitting real pretty! • Wonderful TG • Art of crossdressing OPTED OUT 30/60 • Passable Girl • T-girls Cd tranny of the World • Büroarbeiten • Transgender Styling • * Boi's "Boys" Who Like to Look Like Gurls • *Man I Feel Like A WOMAN* • Beautiful Girls and Crossdressers • The Joy of Being a Woman • Best T-Girls on the Internet opt out 30 60 • Not The Man I Used To Be • T-girls Men would turn and look at (opted out 30/60) • *** Men At Their Best.... A Woman*** • ** The Art of Womanhood ~ By Men ** • Beautiful Trans • I can't believe she's not female • beautiful crossdressers , t-girls on flickr • T-Girl Model - OPTED OUT 30/60 • gonnecortissime • Minigonne delle donne • En Femme : Dressing as a woman! • YES To being a Woman • Belle in minigonna • Exquisit ! • Feminine men • Amber's Hideaway • Amber's Beautiful Crossdressers and Trans women of Flickr • TV and Crossdresser Admirer • Trans Express • jolis visages de travesti « less

Camera: Canon EOS D30, f/7.1, 1/80 sec, 58mm, ISO 100 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Canon EOS D30
Lens:	24.0-85.0 mm
Aperture:	f/7.1
Exposure Time:	0.013 sec (1/80)
Focal Length:	58mm
ISO:	100
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Color Space:	sRGB
Software:	Adobe Photoshop 23.1 (Macintosh)
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