A little over 4 years ago my car was t-boned by a drunk driver. Though I reacted as best as I could, it was wholly unavoidable. At 1:01 am the 3 people in my vehicle felt a jarring impact, coupled with an explosion of glass and the groaning sound of metal on metal. My driver and passenger airbags deployed, and though we could not see, we knew we were still moving. He hit us with such speed and force that the impact pushed us off the highway, causing my car to travel several hundred feet before finally coming to a stop in a ditch.
Though still dazed from being slammed in the face by my airbag, I asked my friends if they were all right. My car filled with white "smoke" which was (thankfully) talcum powder from the airbag, not smoke from the engine (which would have been black.)
A volunteer firefighter who saw the accident ran down the slope into the ditch and approached my shattered window to let us know that help was on the way. I was terrified, and in the worst pain I'd ever felt. We planned to spend the wee hours of Cinco de Mayo safe amongst friends, but that never happened because of one person's decision to drive while intoxicated.
The paramedics arrived and decided to deal with my friend K first since she had lost consciousness during the accident. I was writhing in my seat, unable to find a comfortable position, and whimpering because I didn't know how to process such pain. I noticed the left side of my shirt was spattered with blood, and that parts of my shattered window were actually sticking out of my upper arm and elbow.
When the next ambulance arrived, they dealt with me. They put me in a neck brace and told me not to move. I screamed when they pulled me out of the car onto a back board. I couldn't help it; I had never been in such agony. Thanks to the neck brace I never saw the man who hit us; I couldn't see anything but the sky. I heard the third ambulance's EMTs questioning my room mate M about his injuries as they loaded me into my ambulance. Between fear and pain, the ride to the hospital was torture, every bump an exclamation point.
I lay in the hospital for THREE HOURS before anyone let me know my friends were all right. I was stuck in a laying position on a gurney, alone, shoeless (my shoes had been knocked off on impact), freezing, and scared out of my mind.
The cop who interviewed me in the hospital told me that, had I not reacted the way I did, I'd be DEAD. He said the truck that hit us was double the tonnage of my car, and he hit us with enough force to literally kill me and K, who was seated behind me. Because I reacted the way I did, I managed to deflect some of the impact, saving both of our lives. I realize now that he was saying I was lucky to be alive, but at the time, I simply could not process this.
Each of us were seriously injured. I sustained multiple vertebral compression fractures and crushed discs. (In lay terms, he broke my back.) I would have surgery in an attempt to fix this nearly 1 year later. Unfortunately surgery made my situation worse instead of better, and I now wear the label "chronic pain sufferer." I take narcotic pain medication that damages my liver and kidneys with every dose yet NEVER takes away all of the pain. (My blood is tested every 6 months to monitor kidney and liver function.) Some days the pain is so bad that I cannot stand up straight and am forced to crawl around my apartment like an animal. Sometimes I remain curled up in a ball on the floor, unable to move except to cry, until the worst of it passes. I am grateful for the days when I am able to function almost as well as a regular person.
Each of us had hopes and dreams and plans. M was pursuing his PhD and working for NASA (yes, really.) K was in line for a promotion and significant raise at work. I was getting my bachelor's degree and had a 4.0 GPA. I planned to work for a charity or not-for-profit organization, since I felt fulfilled only when I was giving back to those in need.
Appearances can be deceiving. I realize my car "doesn't look all that damaged", but I assure you these photos show why I and 2 of my closest friends spend EVERY DAY of our lives in pain. One person decided that, despite consuming alcoholic beverages, he was okay to drive home. He was wrong.
Not only are we physically affected, but 4 years later each of us are still mentally, spiritually, and emotionally affected. Each one of us blames ourselves for the accident. Each of us winces (at the least) or mentally shuts down (at the worst) when we pass the accident site. Each of us feels rage when we hear the name of the man who hit us (a name we'll never forget.) Each of us now knows to remain in the safety of our homes on "drinking holidays." Not one of us has been able to get complete relief from the pain. All of us wonder why it happened.
I had goals that I will never achieve. I cannot sit comfortably for any length of time. I cannot stand without pain, ever. I can't lift more than 10 lbs. without pain shooting down my back and legs. I can't feel my toes. I cannot bend like most people. I cannot even function enough to clean my apartment properly. My mother visits every other month to help me with things I SHOULD be able to do on my own, but can't. Hopefully you will never know how how much pride and independence an experience like this forces you to sacrifice. To say I've been humbled is an understatement. Debased is more like it.
I haven't worked in 4 years. The feelings of uselessness weigh on me like a lead blanket. I miss being a productive member of society. I miss giving back to those in need. I miss bringing home a paycheck. The resulting depression is crippling.
I never intended to become a Public Service Announcement, but if I must serve as an example to others, so be it. I don't care how good you THINK you are at driving while intoxicated; it only takes ONE mistake to change someone's life forever... or worse, to end a life.
Do NOT drink and drive. The life you save may be your own.
Feel free to give people this link (but please don't take my photo) and relay my "story" if you think it will help them understand how damaging it is to drink and drive.