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            That I am made of meat is not a fact I ever doubted.  But seeing it - the meat I'm made of - shredded, red and stringy, strewn across a foreign surface, shocked me.

The pain was just pain.  It has nothing new to offer me.  Falling and impaling myself on a shaft of rusty rebar is essentially another day at the office.  Sure, the trip in the ambulance was a little out of the ordinary.  So too the number of strangers attending to my ass.  But by and large it was just another insult to the flesh of a person who is clumsy and accident prone. Until I saw the flesh.

I hadn't seen the actual wound, given its location and my limited range of movement.  But the ambulance guys had gauged its depth by examining the flesh left behind on the rebar.  Home from the hospital, I searched my pants for more signs of trauma but found nothing outside beyond a modest blood stain.  Then I looked inside.  Oh, dear.  Like someone had soaked the pants with raw strings of stewing beef.

How odd it is to see ourselves in pieces like that.  To be reminded that we are merely animated slabs of meat.  It's been a while now and I'm able to sit again.  But I'm not sure I'll ever be able to think of my body without seeing one of those skinned illustrations of man reduced to muscle and tendon in a text book.

Taken on: August 3, 2018

Tags:

another portrait of the gunsmith

in his home

with his wall of memories

Groups appears in: • Utata

Stats: 9,521 views

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