The Manor’s elevator rattles to a halt in the drenching gloom of the basement and Cliff hauls the heavy metal grate out of the way. Rita leads the way as she steps out and pulls down on a heavy light switch, bathing the lab in a bright luminescent light.
Rita: Okay then. Let’s say we split up, have a look around and meet back here if we find anything.
Cliff: So we the fuckin’ Scooby gang now?
Rita: Don’t be an idiot.
Rita folds her arms as Cliff wanders off in a huff.
Rita: Remember: look for anything related to the White Room or the Brain. Anything that could be useful.
She turns away from Cliff as he disappears out of view behind some large cabinets and faces Larry, slumped and looking at the floor.
Rita: Larry, is everything okay? You’ve barely said a word all morning.
He says nothing, still looking at the floor.
Rita: What’s wrong? Larry?
He drags his gaze from the floor and sighs at Rita.
Larry: We shouldn’t be doing this.
Rita: Of course we should.
Larry: No, I mean we shouldn’t be doing this. Us. Together.
Rita gapes at him.
Rita: What do you mean?
Larry: I’m going to find Niles, and I’m going to do it alone.
He turns back to the elevator and Rita grabs him by the arm.
Rita: I’m sorry? And why would you do that exactly?
Larry: Because this is my fault, Rita.
His words echo through the empty lab. Rita struggles to find words as Cliff re-appears from around the side of a cabinet, curious.
Larry: I made the decision to look for Niles, before. It was me that pushed you all into going and you just followed along. You were right – I was so eager to go, and look where it’s landed us.
Rita lets go of him and crosses her arms. She grows quiet.
Rita: Don’t you think we should at least discuss this first?
Larry: This isn’t up for debate. I caused this mess and I should be the one to resolve it. I won’t let you both risk your lives for my mistakes.
He steps away and lowers himself into a chair by the wall. Rita notices his hand move to his chest.
Rita: We all trusted Morden, Larry.
Larry: But it was me who allowed him to get close to us. I told you all we could trust him-
Rita: Of course you didn’t…
Larry: But I did Rita! You didn’t see him like I did! I thought there was good in him and it all just backfired. EVERYTHING I EVER DO BACKFIRES!
Rita: Why are you being like this?
Larry: Maybe because I’ve seen what happens when people like us try to do good in this world.
Rita goes to speak, but no words come. Cliff remains, unmoving, beside the cabinets. After an awkward few minutes of staring at the walls, Rita sucks air in through her teeth and looks down at Larry.
Rita: So you’re going to go after Mister Nobody all on your own, are you?
Larry: His name is Eric.
Rita: No it isn’t, Larry! Because in case you didn’t notice, that man we allowed ourselves to trust – all of us, by the way – is gone! How could we have possibly known he was going to end up like that?
Silence.
Rita: You saw what he was capable of. You can’t do this alone, for Chief’s sake! Don’t be so reckless all the time!
Larry rises from his seat.
Larry: I’m not being reckless.
Rita: We go together or not at all. But we can’t just rush into this like last time. We need an actual, solid plan.
Larry: Right, because last time was such a rush, wasn’t it? I was the only one round here who wanted to do anything! I practically had to push the two of you out the door! Don’t pretend that now you’re actually going to take initiative and step up.
Rita: I want to do this, Larry. I know I made mistakes before, God knows I regret those, but I’m in this now and I’m ready to do what needs to be done!
Larry: And this is what needs to be done, is it? This is your grand plan? Go down to Niles’ lab and just… have a look around? What are we going to find, some inter-dimensional gateway in a box of video tapes?
Rita: Well I’m sorry we can’t all be as smart and hot-headed as the wonderful Captain Larry Trainor!
Larry: Hot headed? Me? You do know what I’ve been through, right?
Rita: Will you give the self-pity act a rest for one minute and just listen to me for once?! None of you ever just listen to me!
Larry sighs and rubs his head. He takes a breath before looking back to Rita and replying.
Larry: I know it may come as a shock to you, but there does exist a world outside the bubble of Rita Farr.
No one says a word. Rita clenches her jaw.
Rita: You don’t mean that.
Larry: Oh don’t I, Rita? And how would you know that?
Rita: Because you of all people should know what it’s like for us!
Rita moves to within inches of his face. It takes everything in her power not to break down and start melting everywhere. Larry exhales and moves towards the lift.
Larry: To hell with this.
Rita: No! You don’t just get to walk away like that!
Larry: Let me go, Rita.
He goes to open the grate, but before he can even touch it he doubles over on himself with a groan and collapses to the floor. The Negative Spirt floats above him for a second, just long enough to look at Cliff and Rita respectively, then darts upwards and disappears through the ceiling. Rita watches his unconscious body for a moment and begins to cry. She kneels down next to Larry and covers her face as hot tears run down her sagging cheeks. She hears movement behind her, and looks over her shoulder at Cliff as he treads past her and Larry and heads for the elevator.
Cliff: Fuck this.
She looks up at him with watery eyes and sniffs.
Rita: Where are you going?
Cliff: Away from this fuckin’ disaster. I got an idea.
Cliff grabs the grate and pulls it across the front of the elevator.
Cliff: It’s pretty fuckin’ clear that we fundamentally cannot function without Niles Caulder. If we don’t find him soon, we’re totally and utterly fucked. And if we can’t figure out the White Room… well, maybe we can bring the White Room here.
He pushes some buttons on the wall, and the elevator rattles into life as it begins its ascent back up to the manor. Rita watches through her tears as Cliff and the elevator disappear from view, leaving her alone with nothing but Larry’s unconscious body and the sound of her quiet sobs.
==========-The White Space-==========
There is a rather uncomfortable silence permeating the air about the studio this evening, thinks Niles Caulder to himself as he runs his tongue across his front teeth and picks at a frayed spot on his armchair. Of course, it may not actually be the evening, but we shan’t hold that against him now, shall we? There isn’t really any possible way of knowing. Perhaps if you were to switch the television on and be greeted by the ten o’clock news, but even then there’s the chance it’s a repeat and thus its temporal accuracy is corrupted. Also, the television set in the faux-house Niles Caulder has come to know as his home isn’t actually real, so there’s a high chance even trying to watch the adverts would result in nothing more than staring back into your own bored reflection as you realise you’re going to have to entertain yourself from now on without the aid of amusing household appliances.
Niles continues to pick at his armchair as an audience suddenly materializes in the stands before him and the studio lights change colour. Then, screeching through the uncomfortable silence like a poorly-oiled door hinge comes Niles’ theme tune – which is met with raucous applause. All the cameras turn to look at him as he sighs deeply and stares out into the audience.
Niles: I suppose you still find this highly amusing, don’t you?
Niles grimaces as the audience burst into that same, insincere laughter. Some even clap their hands. Niles adjusts himself in his seat and whispers under his breath:
Niles: Right, well let’s bloody get on with it.
He goes to speak to the audience again, but before he can get a word out a strange noise fills the air. It’s like someone trying to recite the sound of chalk on a blackboard from memory, but failing badly. Niles cranes his neck to look past the set’s front door and to the source of the noise, but it would appear the audience spot it before him as they erupt into another bout of canned laughter. The noise grows louder as it gets closer, and Niles makes it out to be the sound of someone trying, and failing, to play ‘Baker Street’ on an out of tune saxophone.
Niles: Dear lord…
The poor excuse for music ceases as there comes a knock at the door, and before Niles can respond it bursts open and Jonathan Dubrovny enters, saxophone in hand.
Dubrovny: Good morning neighbour!
The audience clap and cheer as Dubrovny closes the door and moves to his mark next to Niles’ armchair. Niles doesn’t wait for the audience to calm down before speaking.
Niles: You know, I really hate Baker Street.
Dubrovny frowns as the audience chuckle.
Dubrovny: Really old chap? I’d no clue! You must hate it even more now!
Niles grits his teeth as a ripple of laughter spreads through the audience.
Dubrovny: You must forgive me. I’ve been giving myself lessons you see, just something to do when winding down from a hard day’s work doing my experiments. Did I mention I’m a molecular engineer?
Niles’ knuckles go white as he grips the arm of his chair.
Niles: Once or twice.
Dubrovny: Well I’m no Charlie Parker, but I thought it might impress the wife!
Niles: I wasn’t aware you had one.
Dubrovny: Oh, I don’t any more. Turns out I misheard her when she said ‘I want you to try harder in sax.’
The audience throw their heads back in glee and applaud. Niles tries the best he can not to snap the armchair.
Dubrovny: Not that I really mind, of course. Gives me far more time to work on my new, top-secret project!
Niles sits up and feigns interest.
Niles: Oh? And how’s that going?
Dubrovny: Rather well, thank you.
Niles: The salt came in handy then?
Dubrovny: Salt?
Niles: From the kitchen.
Dubrovny: Oh, that wasn’t for the project, heavens no! I was having cod and chips for dinner!
Niles sighs and lowers his head as another insufferable bout of laughter rises from the auditorium.
Niles: I’m surprised you have any time to practice, what with all these fascinating projects you seem to have on the go.
Dubrovny: Well, it’s just the one project you see. But it’s top-secret!
Niles thinks for a moment, then beckons Dubrovny closer with a finger.
Niles: You know, I’m a very trustworthy neighbour.
Dubrovny bends down next to Niles and listens intently.
Niles: I wouldn’t dare breathe a word of what you were up to to anyone, not even my closest friends.
Dubrovny: Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands…
Niles: But it never would! I’m just a feeble old cripple. Who would ever think to ask a feeble old cripple what the famous molecular engineer Jonathan Dubrovny is up to?
Dubrovny stokes his chin and thinks for a moment.
Niles: I may even be able to lend you a helping hand, as a budding scientist myself.
Dubrovny stands up straight and looks at the carpet in deep thought.
Dubrovny: Hmm, I’m not sure…
Niles props himself up in the armchair and looks out to the audience.
Niles: What about you lot? What do you think he should do? Should he let us all in on his fascinating, top-secret project?
They all look back at Niles with curiosity in their eyes as a murmur of excitement spreads throughout the stands.
Dubrovny: Who are you talking to?
Niles: Never you mind. What do you say?
Voices start to pipe up from the audience.
Voice: Yeah, do it!
Voice: Help him out!
Voice: Go on!
Voice: You suck Caulder!
Dubrovny looks around suspiciously and strokes his chin once more.
Dubrovny: You know, I’m getting the strongest feeling that I would like to tell you all about it!
The audience clap excitedly.
Niles: Marvellous!
Niles beckons for him to come over and Dubrovny kneels down next to him. He looks over his shoulders and leans in to whisper in Niles’ ear.
Dubrovny: I’m working on a rather exciting project, one that could take the scientific world by storm!
Niles raises his eyebrows and pretends to get excited.
Niles: What is it? What is it?
Dubrovny: Promise this stays between us?
Niles: I promise!
Dubrovny: Well, I call it – The Atom-Ray!
Niles gasps exaggeratedly.
Niles: And whatever does it do?
Dubrovny: Oh, now this is where things get pretty exciting! It is a special helmet, designed fully by me, capable of granting the average man the power… to turn into any element of the Periodic Table!
Niles masks his disappointment with an overblown grin. The audience gasp excitedly, all on the edge of their seats.
Niles: Goodness, how… interesting!
Dubrovny: Isn’t it just? It’s only in the testing phase at the moment, but I hope one day to be able to use it myself!
Niles: Now that would be something.
Dubrovny: Wouldn’t it just? But… crikey, look at the time! I must be getting off!
Niles: Yes, please do! Don’t let me keep you from your important work.
Dubrovny: I’m glad you share my enthusiasm, neighbour! I’ll be sure to pop round and tell you all about my progress!
Niles: I look forward to it very much!
Dubrovny: And remember – tell no one!
Niles: I wouldn’t dream of it!
Dubrovny picks up his saxophone and heads for the door.
Dubrovny: Until next time!
He exits to frantic applause from the audience. Within seconds of his departure, the studio lights change colour, cloaking Niles in a dark hue, and the end credits music begins to play over the sound of cheering. But Niles doesn’t hear it as stares out into the dark void of the auditorium, lost in tangled thought.
